“I miss the staff, they were all really friendly and welcoming. Putting myself in treatment was the best decision I have made for myself.”

Jaylen G.

Abby

I knew on the inside that I needed help. The hardest part was asking for it.

The first time I said out loud I was an alcoholic, it was to my mom and my dad. That was a moment that I’ll never forget. I just felt everything and I let everything go. My addiction has affected my family on many levels. It’s caused them a ton of sleepless nights, pain, worry and agony. And, I’m sure, disappointment. I thought I was hiding my alcoholism well, but my phone calls and texts indicated differently.

I was talking my talk, but not walking the walk. I felt ashamed because I knew it deep down for a long time. I decided to go to treatment because I couldn’t live that lie anymore. I knew on the inside that I needed help. The hardest part was asking for it. When I did, it saved my life. Rimrock saved my life.

It’s so cliché, but I had to find myself because I lost myself. Through treatment, I found out so much about myself that I didn’t know.

For me to maintain a strong recovery, I need support all the time. I’m very close with my family. My mom is on speed dial. It gets difficult because they aren’t in Billings, so I have to constantly reach out and not get stuck in my pity party. We’ve grown as a family because of my recovery. I feel like I don’t have a dirty little secret to hide. I feel like I can call my brothers more and be the sister. Now, when we get together for family gatherings, I get to be the little sister to my two older brothers and we just go back into those roles that we were in as children. Recovery has brought us closer together.

I don’t know how many times I had said the serenity prayer, but I never really actually listened to the words. One day, I said the serenity prayer and I listened to the words that I was saying and it just hit me. I have to let go of the things that I can’t change and change the things I can. I remind myself to do this on a daily basis because some things try to come back in. It’s an everyday process letting go of the things I can’t control, because that is toxic. I feel like I’m finally back to the person that my parents raised. I feel happy. I feel like I have me back. And, it feels amazing.

My recovery is tied into my work, and that’s why I’m so passionate about it. I’m an inpatient residential counselor at Rimrock. I get where our clients are at. I get that broken feeling when they come in. Sometimes it’s difficult because I feel so much of what they’re going through because I’ve been through it. It’s difficult to remove my emotional side from it, but I have to remind myself I’m human, too. And, I want to show them what’s possible, what you can have if you live a life in recovery.

It’s important for me to meet patients where they’re at. Even though they are here for the same reason everybody else is, they have individual needs and individual things they need to work through.

I learn more from patients that I work with at Rimrock than I could ever teach or give to them. They teach me what it means to be vulnerable, to have that courage and strength, to be a better person and continue doing what I do.

Admitting that you need help and walking through the door is the hardest part. But you get to leave everything at the door and begin to live a new life you never thought was possible.

For me, Rimrock is Recovery.

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